Nothing has changed. Still the same amount of chaos, the same amount of crazy, just tired of the excuses in my head that keep me from writing. This chaotic, crazy life is worth sharing. If for no reason other than to share the laughs. Thus, I’m here and campbellpond.com is alive.
Crazy, chaotic — Like falling off a ladder, landing on my back and bouncing my head a time or two while working on a chicken run before work last Thursday. That sounds ominous, but is rather typical of my life. I took a minute to check — gingerly testing my body parts — everything worked. Thank God for keeping fools safe. I would sport some serious bruises, but all in all, I was fine.
See, I wanted chickens. I have wanted chickens for years. I finally got tired of waiting, so I just went to the local Feed & Seed and purchased them — all 35 of them. Shortly, they needed proper living space. It became an immediate issue, because 35 chicks in your basement develops into a tiresome chore and a huge sanitation issue. So with some family help, but mostly through a lot of my own dogged determination, the chicken run is built. The chicken run is built, but not without scars and scares and some serious screaming on my part.
I find that is true of most of my life. I dream big things. I envision grand plans. I fall in love with the visions of my mind’s imaginings. And these dreams can take me down. The implementation, the hard damn work it takes to make something real is usually much more than I expect. I have to gut my way to the end and in that part where I’m tired and flat on my back because I’ve done something stupid, I will always question my sanity. There it is, the feeling of defeat bringing with it the potential to drown in frustration of my own making.
My baby child graduated from college on Sunday. She starts work in 10 days. She just signed the lease for her “adult” apartment. My three daughters are all out of the house; educated, self-sufficient and making a difference in the world. We did it. We raised those tiny little beings and they are lovely. I sit in the midst of feelings i can’t quite process. Proud indeed, but mostly I’m exhausted and stunned. Holy Cow. That was fun but really really hard. There were situations, problems, feelings that I never could have imagined or prepared for. Most of my parenting relies on resilience, humor, and prayer. Each stage of raising these girls produced scars and scares and lots of screaming.
So my last little chick is leaving the nest and I am adopting 35 hens. Life will always be a challenge because I conjure big things. But I believe in the power of a vision and the healing force of humor. And I know my sweet family and community of friends is with me through the scars, the scares, and the screaming.